Matt Million’s February Update: An Incredible Opportunity
Buttonwillow, CA
Hello! In this monthly update, I describe one of the most surprising and unique opportunities of my racing journey. Being one of six young drivers vying for the chance to race this year in a Mercedes-AMG GT4 with a professional team. A surreal 4-week period from unexpected phone call to performing at my highest level with future on the line. Expect a regular ‘March Update’ soon, where I discuss what I’ve been driving and announce a few racing plans.
A quick catch-up; my name is Matt Million, I’m a 20 year old aspiring professional racing driver and college student from San Marcos, California. I’ve been competing since the age of five when I spent eight years racing in karts. I transitioned to cars in Spec Miata at age 14 finding success in the Mazda Motorsports ladder through Teen Mazda Challenge up to semi-pro Spec MX-5 Challenge in 2018. In 2019, I became a class winner of the 25 Hours of Thunderhill and in 2020 I achieved a long-held goal of racing touring cars in Germany. I love sharing my experiences as a young racer through these reports with hopes that those who read it can take away value or enjoyment from following along. Thank you for the support!
Where do I even begin…
“1 NEW MISSED CALL”
Let’s start at the beginning. Friday, January 8th, 2021. Early afternoon as I hiked up my favorite trail listening to a ‘Dinner with Racers’ podcast. A call came from an unknown number and I thought ‘that’s strange’. Minutes later an email comes in. “Hi Matt, this is Jeremy Shaw. I tried leaving a voicemail but your mailbox was full. Call me back when you get a chance”. If you recognize that name, you’ll understand my heart-stopping moment. If you don’t, Jeremy is the founder of the Team USA Scholarship for young drivers and a highly respected individual in motorsport. No, I was not expecting any call!
I immediately ring back and I’m informed of a sports car racing opportunity being put together in California. A professional team, Conquest Racing West, is putting together a 2-day driver search with plans to select drivers to race this year’s NASA WERC season with a Mercedes-AMG GT4 in preparation to enter pro series’ beyond. With Jeremy's expertise, they are seeking two promising young drivers. The car’s generous owner will cover the costs wishing only to contribute back to the sport he loves and give worthy talent struggling for budget and opportunity a shot. This is a scenario young drivers fantasize about but never expect it might actually show up one day!
My reaction after the call was ‘This is wild. I’ve never driven anything even close to that fast before. Heck, I’ve never driven for a professional team or been a participant of any driver selection process. I also didn’t realize Jeremy knew who I was!”
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU CHANCES…
There was no guarantee I’d be chosen or even if I’d hear back, just that my name was put as a possibility. Being in a state of uncertainty over what racing I could pursue being a full-time student and having a limited budget, the easy choice was made to put everything aside and make this priority.
Was I ready? Could I ever be ready? Was this the right moment? Doubts came in but they didn’t matter. I would be ready. I needed to start preparing.
Immediately I learned as much as I could; researching the team and its crew to better grasp the organization and goals. Starting to gather AMG GT4 onboard videos to study. Set up the virtual car on my home simulator in Assetto Corsa Competizione to start understanding its dynamics and setup possibilities.
No news until the following Friday. I was driving to Laguna Seca ready to help some friends in a 14-hour enduro when I received an email. Paraphrasing, but it stated ‘Congratulations, you’ve made it to the next stage of our selection. We’d like to have a virtual interview with you’.
Unbelievable, super cool. If there was one thing I learned besides racing in my Teen Mazda Challenge years, it was speaking and presenting myself in situations like this. Ecstatic to learn more about them, the opportunity, and speak face-to-face (virtually)!
The interview was done in my backseat in the paddock the next day. It went well! Smooth, informative, big smile on my face. I was told I’d be included in the search and my 2-day evaluation was set for February 3rd and 4th at Buttonwillow Raceway. The way I saw it, I had 15 days to prepare to climb the steepest mountain of my life. An intense feeling of fortune, gratitude, and nervous excitement. Time to start climbing.
PREPARATION
Each day, I’d put myself in a headspace of focus and performance while also making sure to balance it with a humble, calm, communicative aura. While I altered my physical training a bit, so much preparation was mental. To be at one with the driving challenge ahead and entirely present with team was the goal. Each driver was sent a 53-page manual of the AMG GT4 driver controls to which I printed in full color to highlight and scribble on for sometimes hours per day. When I hopped in the cockpit, I wanted to feel as if I’d driven it already. The exact 2-day plan was left a bit vague as I got the feeling they wanted to assess how we adapted and approached the days ourselves.
Speaking of other drivers, I’d be lying to say I didn’t feel like a minnow amongst sharks when names were announced. Four of the other five were past Team USA Scholarship winners and everyone was immensely talented and worthy. Most had some professional open wheel and/or sports car experience and I thought multiple times ‘man, do I seriously belong here or deserve this?’ But perception can often be reality. I had to assure myself I did belong. If you can’t believe in your own chances, no one else will!
WELCOME TO BUTTONWILLOW
If you’ve ever been to Buttonwillow Raceway, you’re likely familiar with the ‘wonderful’ Motel 6 racers will stay at being in the middle of nowhere outside Bakersfield, California. Strange it was to arrive there on a Tuesday, still looking as questionable as ever. But none of that mattered. My sleep wasn’t too great as it’s pretty much impossible for the brain to shut off when this event is sitting right in front of you. In my favor at least was prior experience at the circuit. It’s a fantastic combination of high-commitment corners, narrow hairpins, and medium speed flowing sections. Though the AMG would be completely alien compared to the Spec Miata I was used to racing here!
ORIENTATION DAY
The driver search was spread across three days; day one would see the first three drivers go through orientation and have on-track evaluations for day two, while the second group of three came on day two to orientate before driving on day three. As I was in the second group, I made a conscious decision to not interfere too much with the team and other driver’s test day. I felt a duty of respect to give those drivers a full chance to make an impression as I would hope they’d do the same if roles were reversed. In hindsight, I could’ve been more proactive in getting to know the team better (and them getting to know me) but it felt like the right decision in the moment.
Though, it was a nice day to briefly meet everyone involved. Especially to express gratitude and chat with the team manager, bond over European motorsport and espresso machines with team founder, and begin to understand the passion, kindness, and aspirations of the new team owner. It was helpful to observe how the crew operated and to get myself familiar and comfortable in the car for tomorrow.
ON-TRACK DAY
The test plan was this; each driver gets four sessions of 10 laps a piece in the car. The two sessions before lunch focused on familiarizing us with the machine and circuit. The session after lunch we’d each receive a new set of grippy Michelin S8M tires to perform a mock qualifying and a final session where we worked on consistency managing used rubber. After each session, we would have a one-on-one debrief (which I thoroughly enjoyed). The rest (communication, feedback, analysis, decisions) was up to us.
Before we got started, we got taken for an informative rental car lap and learned a heap of useful tips on the AMG’s characteristics around twisty, bumpy Buttonwillow. The team manager then made a mistake of getting out, handing us the keys, and telling us to learn the track a little more. Racing drivers will be racing drivers! 15-minutes of tire squealing and laughing later, it was time to start.
The Mercedes presented a number of new challenges for me; apart from simulators I’d never driven a factory-built ‘homologation’ race car, never driven with a sequential paddle gearbox, never used left-foot braking outside of karts, and hadn’t driven with over 250hp before (over 500hp in this case). A Spec Miata laps this 1CW layout in 2:11-12 while this was at least 15-20 seconds faster per lap for context!
I’d be the first driver in rotation. Almost like presenting your class project first, helps to not overthink it! All those wonderful mechanical noises, gearbox whine, perfectly crafted buttons, cockpit ergonomics (the most comfortable race car I’ve ever been in). Installed in the car, I flipped a few switches and she roared to life on the pitlane. Grinning ear-to-ear as it dropped from the air jacks and I traveled down the lane with smile turning to a jaw-drop once I disengaged the pit limiter. There is no preparation possible for that brutal acceleration pinning back your head, and the visceral sensation of being thrown around in a carbon fiber cocoon! Unreal feeling, this is what a true race car feels like. Thankfully through my studies and simulator prep, I found myself at-home within a lap or two. I focused on what I felt, saw, and heard that wasn’t initially obvious. Thinking of Ross Bentley’s ‘Speed Secrets’, to drive this fast on the limit you need to fine tune mental clarity and awareness. I settled into a 70-75% rhythm and expanded my sightlines to the speed. Solid warm-up!
For the second session, I needed to work on my braking. In this level of race car, the brake pedal becomes a ‘pressure plate’ rather than a lever, a tool to fine tune its immense stopping capacity. Trust in the ABS system is what I needed to find! The Bosch digital dash has lighting indicators showing whether the front or rear was close to locking up, indicators I needed to see to know I was near deceleration limits. I achieved much more sharp and precise stopping during the session. Truly satisfying to know my left foot worked as well as my right when it came to the middle pedal! The release point in these cars with a ‘pressure plate’ feel is much more difficult to feel than a regular car and you must adapt the ability to feel tiny differences. Like any race car, the way you ‘squeeze and ease’ the pedals matters a ton and it helped me find lots more confidence in the AMG. However, lap times stayed about the same. For this session, tires were put on for each of us that were far past their initial grippy state and we struggled keeping the rear under control under acceleration! Definitely a session of quick adaption, especially for me. I had tried a different seat padding for this run, only to have it nearly fall out from behind me from lap five onwards! My endurance racing background prepared me for these moments, when you still need to perform a task regardless of whatever uncomfortable situation you’re in.
After a good debrief, it was lunchtime. Quickly afterwards it was back to business. I needed now to hone in on performance, consistency and technical feedback. Getting my helmet on in those minutes before hopping in, I closed my eyes for a few seconds and brought myself to ‘lock in’. There could be no lapse of focus or judgement for these ten laps.
Entirely honest, I can’t recall much detail from these next two sessions. I was in a state of mind cognitively aware that one miscalculated brake release in one corner of one lap could be the difference between success and failure. When it came to what I controlled in these laps, it had to be my best.
The qualifying simulation was first. While I’m sure my learning from the morning sessions played a role, the difference between old and new tires was shocking. The AMG went from a 500-horsepower race car to a 500-horsepower guided missile. Knowing the importance of correctly warmed new tires, the out-lap was spent gradually building up tire pressure and matching the surface temperature to internal temperatures. It wasn’t long after rounding the final corner to begin the first timed lap that I entered a flow state of challenge and belief.
I couldn’t believe the times when they flashed across the dash; 1:49. Four entire seconds better than what I managed earlier. Either these new tires were magical and there’s less fuel onboard than I initially thought or I’ve entered the matrix. Both firm possibilities. I recall seeing 1:49’s every time I glanced down, thinking to myself pinned through the esses each lap, ‘Will this be enough? It’s all I’ve got!’ While times weren’t officially shared, I’m pretty confident those were the quickest laps the car saw. At least I know for sure the predictive lap timer had a new personal best. But it’s well understood in motorsport that the best times don’t always correlate to succeeding or winning the race. Still, I knew I could leave this experience knowing I gave it my all.
For the final session of the day, the task was on managing tires and piece together all the little details. From debriefs, we determined I had a bit of time to gain across Phil Hill. It became a goal to slow the car quicker, settle it earlier, and carry a few more miles per hour over the top. Most importantly, I was satisfied with the consistency. Each time was within a few tenths again, ending the day with no mistakes. There was a feeling I pushed the tires hard in the prior session, as I would’ve liked to be marginally closer to my previous pace. Nonetheless happy with how I managed, stayed on-target, and kept within my limits as if we were deep into an endurance stint. Good test of physical conditioning as well, as spending even an hour and a half in the AMG GT4 puts serious strain on your auxiliary muscles. I felt it the day after! One final debrief with the engineer as I stopped in the box, and a last debrief about the day as a whole.
The final task was to fill-in a printed track map with your notes from the day. Where you could’ve improved, what you did well, what you want to work on, etc. Some final thank-you’s and smiles and the day concluded. On my way home, I gave fellow driver Marco a lift back to his hotel. We had a good half-hour chat about racing, life, our struggles, and our aspirations. I told him regardless of what happens with this, he has an open invite to come back to California for some local endurance races we can run together. Always lend a hand when possible, you never know what friendships could become.
Overall, I was proud. Proud to give an accurate picture of my capabilities given experience, background, and the information I had. Able to leave with the satisfaction of no mistakes and not a single wheel off track. And to now have friends and acquaintances in professional sports car racing, my absolute passion. I wish I had more time to connect with them. Though, I’m pinching myself at the opportunity to even be there. To study, apply, and drive flat-out in a brilliantly fast and muscular AMG GT4; the likes of which I thought I’d never get to drive (let alone get the chance to race). To now understand that I’m far more capable of what I thought. How a single phone call from a few gracious people can lead you down a path of total self-improvement and the realization of your wildest dreams. Whatever news came next would ultimately be what was meant to be. Grateful.
IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY, KEEP GOING
The phone call came the following day. I was not chosen to continue with the program. It’s a difficult call to make and even more difficult to receive. In full honestly, it was painful to accept at first. As any competitor who dedicates themselves so deeply to a sport where these opportunities are everything will tell you, it’s highest highs and lowest lows.
I was confident I had showed enough. But in these moments you get two choices. Feel wronged and let ego win or use it as the most impactful learning moment possible. The second choice needs to prevail every time.
After weeks of reflecting, I understand better where I fell short and what to do to improve. My communication with the team and each member should’ve been better. I was often nervous, too in-my-head about performance that it took away from learning each crew member. Having not dealt with a professional team before, I’ve learned a lot about interactions and expectations. To my understanding, the decision to narrow us six drivers down to two was incredibly tight. To go toe-to-toe against five of the most deserving and talented young drivers in the country is something I should be immensely proud of. It’s not often you get to directly benchmark yourself against racing drivers you watch from afar aspiring to become!
A massive motivator behind my excitement was to continue my racing career while lifting an immense cost from my family’s shoulders. I don’t come from a racing family, nor one of wealth. Getting me to this point has been a monumentally selfless endeavor from them, one that often came at hefty time and financial burdens. I’m certain if I keep going and apply what I learn, the day will come when I’m able to give back to them.
It simply wasn’t meant to be right now. In my heart, I believe being included and being a part of something incredible was meant to be. Whether the reasons are personal growth, further opportunity, or something I don’t yet know. This pushed me like no other challenge in motorsport. Smiling at the fact it happened it all and use it to build into a better driver and person.
In ClosinG
A lesson for any up-and-coming racer with a passion for the sport and unsure of their ability to continue in it. Keep going. Be honest, be genuine, dedicate yourself, get your mission out to more people. There is no promise your path will be quick or easy, nor should it be. Make certain you are as prepared as possible, even with no clear path ahead. Because in that day you least expect it, you could receive information shifts your path. In my case, three weeks to prepare and perform at the highest level with the promise of nothing expect what you make of it.
Falling short in these moments was never a fear, I’ve realized. The fear was I’d never be included in a moment like this; a search, a shootout, a scholarship, some recognition or chance for me to showcase the effort I’ve pushed so hard for in motorsport against the odds. Something that allowed me to keep going. I believe if it can come true once, it can happen again. I’m much better prepared for the next one.
To Jeremy, Danny, Eric, John, and everyone involved in the driver search. A sincere thank you. I wish the best this season and look forward to cheering your team and drivers. Hope we stay in good contact!
I look forward to announcing some racing plans for 2021 soon. Thank you everyone.
From my favorite novel The Art of Racing in the Rain,
“The true hero is flawed. The true test of a champion is not whether he can triumph, but whether he can overcome obstacles - preferably of his own making - in order to triumph.”
Cheers, Matt Million
San Marcos, CA - 3/23/21